| "Dysart's Garden 05-05" - 16" x 23" Pastel on Paper - 2005 copyright Dan Stephanian |
| * * * Sometimes you are just so tickled that an artist buddy is ready to paint on time, that you will sit in the middle of his driveway, just to keep it all together and going on schedule. Art is a time consuming effort, and especially if you are particular about the results. My buddy Chris has lots of flowers on his property, and to avoid travel, he said, "Hey, we can paint right here! I've got my bloomin' iris' right here and you can paint something in that general direction!" Truly generous. |
The rock garden was a good model. We began. On time. Wow! Chris was throwing some paint around and I was in my
chair outlining the rock garden. A small dog begins horse-play with Chris' dog, and then another. They stomp and wag
their way over and through my drawing pencils, and pastels. Finally a yell stops the small dog who runs next door in
shear panic. I turn around again to face the garden, and without exaggerating, no embellishment at all...... a bronze
goddess.....golden-haired, tanned from head to toe, in only the tiniest sleeveless shirt, a necktie really, and the tightest,
smallest pair of short pants, the shortest ever, began strolling by, with everything shaking, everything moving, and your
eyes could only follow so much, but there was so much to see. I stopped and my jaw dropped, she smiled and went on
by, to leave in a small car that pulled up. I was so embarrassed that I gawked at her. But she looked like a cartoon
character, entirely too voluptuous, entirely too tanned, entirely too lovely, and what was my red blood to do?
Chris yelled from his easel, "Oh yeah, hey Dan, did ya meet my new tenant?" The girl was already gone. He was
tickled with himself. He guffawed like a true Texan, and mentioned, "She's a stripper down at the Strip Club, and
goes to school part-time!" He was proud of her. My blood pressure was back to normal.
Two little three year old girls ran across the neighbor's yard and up to me. They immediately began rummaging
around in my pencils and pastels and before I could stop them, they had each grabbed a pencil and were proceeding to
draw in my picture. I stopped them with a wave of my hand, and they said with little pouting lips, "We just wanted to help
you." I thanked them and gave them a pencil and piece of paper to work on.
I couldn't stop the puppy who was racing full speed towards the girls, and hadn't learned to slow down yet, and
slammed into the pastels, the girls and me. Like a cartoon dog, spinning its paws to get out, it slung pencils everywhere,
and took off for new adventures. That's when the car door slammed and the "stripper" paraded by again.
Oh my God! Is that too brief? Too tame? She had naturally changed outfits, and I had no clue what this one was
designed for, except to kill me! I can't describe the outfit, especially with little girls around. However, it was on the
edge of pornographic. And things were moving down the driveway, and every eye was swaying with her tune.
A little old lady, with pure white hair, in a brand new, bright red, convertible Corvette, drove up to Chris while he was
standing in the driveway, painting his iris', and she began to flirt with him. She revved-up her engine, flipped her hair back,
conjured up some well-worn lines to the tall Texan and then roared away in her chariot.
Chris yelled, "It must be a full moon or something!"
The wind stopped us for a few, we stopped for a bite, but the stripper stopped us several more times as she
continued to change clothes and walk the runway to model her stuff. She was spectacular. No actress had a thing on
her. And there was little adult supervision of the two cute little girls, who continued to try and help me draw. Nor did
the dogs slow their interference.
When we were done, and I saw that Chris had painted me into his picture.....me sitting in my chair, and then he saw
that I had left out the "classic architectural lines of his little house!" Well, that did it for the afternoon, and you never can
tell what will happen in the plain air.
chair outlining the rock garden. A small dog begins horse-play with Chris' dog, and then another. They stomp and wag
their way over and through my drawing pencils, and pastels. Finally a yell stops the small dog who runs next door in
shear panic. I turn around again to face the garden, and without exaggerating, no embellishment at all...... a bronze
goddess.....golden-haired, tanned from head to toe, in only the tiniest sleeveless shirt, a necktie really, and the tightest,
smallest pair of short pants, the shortest ever, began strolling by, with everything shaking, everything moving, and your
eyes could only follow so much, but there was so much to see. I stopped and my jaw dropped, she smiled and went on
by, to leave in a small car that pulled up. I was so embarrassed that I gawked at her. But she looked like a cartoon
character, entirely too voluptuous, entirely too tanned, entirely too lovely, and what was my red blood to do?
Chris yelled from his easel, "Oh yeah, hey Dan, did ya meet my new tenant?" The girl was already gone. He was
tickled with himself. He guffawed like a true Texan, and mentioned, "She's a stripper down at the Strip Club, and
goes to school part-time!" He was proud of her. My blood pressure was back to normal.
Two little three year old girls ran across the neighbor's yard and up to me. They immediately began rummaging
around in my pencils and pastels and before I could stop them, they had each grabbed a pencil and were proceeding to
draw in my picture. I stopped them with a wave of my hand, and they said with little pouting lips, "We just wanted to help
you." I thanked them and gave them a pencil and piece of paper to work on.
I couldn't stop the puppy who was racing full speed towards the girls, and hadn't learned to slow down yet, and
slammed into the pastels, the girls and me. Like a cartoon dog, spinning its paws to get out, it slung pencils everywhere,
and took off for new adventures. That's when the car door slammed and the "stripper" paraded by again.
Oh my God! Is that too brief? Too tame? She had naturally changed outfits, and I had no clue what this one was
designed for, except to kill me! I can't describe the outfit, especially with little girls around. However, it was on the
edge of pornographic. And things were moving down the driveway, and every eye was swaying with her tune.
A little old lady, with pure white hair, in a brand new, bright red, convertible Corvette, drove up to Chris while he was
standing in the driveway, painting his iris', and she began to flirt with him. She revved-up her engine, flipped her hair back,
conjured up some well-worn lines to the tall Texan and then roared away in her chariot.
Chris yelled, "It must be a full moon or something!"
The wind stopped us for a few, we stopped for a bite, but the stripper stopped us several more times as she
continued to change clothes and walk the runway to model her stuff. She was spectacular. No actress had a thing on
her. And there was little adult supervision of the two cute little girls, who continued to try and help me draw. Nor did
the dogs slow their interference.
When we were done, and I saw that Chris had painted me into his picture.....me sitting in my chair, and then he saw
that I had left out the "classic architectural lines of his little house!" Well, that did it for the afternoon, and you never can
tell what will happen in the plain air.